Of Delays and Inevitabilities
She’s been sitting in front of the mirror for nearly an
hour, deciding whether to braid her hair or just let it down. She spent 2 hours
earlier changing clothes until she opted to settle with a striped blue blouse,
jeans and her Cinderella doll shoes. She had been waiting for this night to
come, carefully planning what to do, how to act and what to wear. Now, as she
stared gloomily at her reflection, she realized all those late night sleeps had
been for nothing. She’s as unprepared as ever, and she could feel her heart
wanting to escape the confines of her fragile body. 30 minutes before 6 pm, she
elected to leave her house. ’I still have an hour before the reunion begins,’
she said. With that, she played the entire possible scenario that could happen
tonight. She will see him. He will be there with his gorgeous wife, looking so
in love and perfect together. Or he will be there, alone. Or, worst, she won’t
even get to catch a glimpse of him. As the stars begin to sparkle in sky, she
could not make up her mind as to what picture she prefers.
He came in early, a first for him. He never really showed up
on events on time. He never liked waiting, except for that one rare time, when
he decided to wait for eternity, only to find out that he waited in vain. Ever
since, he never had the patience to wait for anyone.
He talked with a bunch of people, most of whom, he couldn’t
even remember back in high school. Then as if the world shifted its center of
gravity, he saw her enter the venue. Still keeping a low profile huh, he
thought. She aged, he could see that. But there was something quite disturbing
about her. As to what, he doesn’t have a clue.
She saw her friends waving at her. At once, she went to
greet them and spent some minutes catching up with one another. The group
became bigger and bigger that she couldn’t help but want air. She excused
herself and went outside hoping to gather the strength to talk to him. From the
corners of her eye, she had been keeping watch on him the moment she entered
the room.
“You still like the wind, don’t you?”
She need not glance back to know that it was him. He’s the
only one who knows how much she loves the wind. His voice hasn’t changed at all,
she thought.
“I guess so,”
By now he is just a foot away from her. She couldn’t help
but wish they could be alone, if only for an hour.
“It’s pretty crowded inside, would you like to go somewhere
peaceful?” he said, as if reading her mind.
Before she could even utter a word, he took her hand and led
her to their spot as lovers. He wiped the swing and gestured for her to have a
seat.
“I’m assuming you want to talk to me about something,” she
finally said, after a moment of awkward silence.
“I could say the same to you,”
She heard him pause, and then breathed heavily.
“Well, let’s just say that tonight I finally mustered the
courage to ask you this. ‘Why did you leave me?’I think I deserve a better
explanation. I’m not settling with that I’m-busy-with-studies-I-have-no-time
crap.”
He deserved to know the truth. She denied him that for 16
years. They were never official, they feel the same for each other but they
never got to the point of being together. While on their first year in college and
in different universities, one day, she just decided to end whatever they have.
He tried to reach her so many times but eventually gave up. To make matters
worse, she even said she loved somebody else. She did, but only after 6 years
of being separated from each other. She had a few relationships after that, but
always, she knew that she should be in someone else’s arms.
“I’m sorry. I know you’ve been through worse...”
“I’ve been through hell because of you.”
She can sense his hatred towards her now. “I know. I just
couldn’t block news of you. I’m sorry, I really do.” She wanted to hold his
hands, look straight into his eyes, but she knew the moment she does that,
she’ll be vulnerable.
“I wanted to tell you the truth, but I just can’t.I... “
“You could have just told me you never loved me.”
His pitch rose. He saw her tightened her grip on the ropes,
and then stood up, her back in front of him.
“That would be a lie then, “
“Oh really? I tried to win you back but just shut me out.
Even a text saying ‘let’s be friends’ would have sufficed.”
He knew she was sobbing now. He wished she wouldn’t look at
him. He just couldn’t take seeing her cry, more so because of him. So he turned his
back, intending to leave. Before he could take a step forward, she caught his
hand.
“I ,I, I just can’t expect you to wait for me for another 5
years. You waited for me for 3 years. I’ve kept you waiting for too long. I
just couldn’t make you wait until forever. “
With that she let him go.
“I thought you were smart.”
He waited for her reply, but she was far too engrossed with
crying and self pity. He touched her face, and just then he realized what
disturbed him earlier. Her eyes weren’t the same as before. He knew it wasn’t
just the tears. He could see that the light from her eyes had gone away. All he
could see know is darkness, immeasurable sadness and loneliness.
“When I said I was going to wait for you for all eternity, I
meant it. I thought you’ll be happier without me so somehow I made myself
believe that I’m doing the best for you. When I heard you were getting married,
I nearly drunk myself to death. Then I heard news of your fiancé cheating on
you. You know how hard that must have been for me? I basically had to chain
myself to keep me from killing him.”
He saw her mouth move to form a smile. He had replayed these moments with her for countless times. But this smile is by far the sweetest and
most beautiful of all. He found himself moving closer to kiss her and stopped
when he realized that he might be moving too fast.
Then she let out a laugh. He can’t believe how much he
missed her laugh.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing,” She paused. “I may sound stupid for asking this,
but I just have to ask it anyway.”
“Go on,”
“I just hope I’m not too late to ask this. But would you
like to continue writing our story? This time, I’ll be waiting for you.”
“You’re the smart one. I can’t write stuffs like that. But I
can give you an inspiration, if you want.”
Then without second thoughts, he leaned to kiss her. He could
feel her giving herself to him.
“Does star gazing sound appealing to you?”
“Sounds fun,” she said. She wanted to tell him anything will
be fun whenever his around.
As they lay on the grass looking at the star that shines so
bright in the night sky, she couldn’t help but think what she did to deserve a
guy like him. She thanked the heavens above for giving her the chance to
correct her mistakes, for letting her write the continuation of their love
story, even after all these years.
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