Scarred Forever
I watched his silhouette turned
smaller and smaller as he walked down the aisle further away from me. His face
full of enthusiasm as he set foot on a journey towards a different dimension to
chase his dream, masked his unrest as he leaves me alone. I fear naught for my
own safety. I dread the monster of malevolence that may welcome him. No matter
what, I made a promise, an implied one, to wait for his arrival. I have no
doubt he would return. I know he would rush back into my arms. After all, he is
my friend.
Days turned into nights. Weeks
passed by. Months trudged on. It’s been so long but I see no sign of his
return. I waited unwearyingly like a faithful dog waiting for his master’s
homecoming. Neither a call nor a text, not even the snail mail from him reached
me. Memories of us together seemed like light years away. Doubt started to
devour me as my unwavering spirit begun to dampen.
At last, after I stopped counting
how long we’ve been separated, gossips spread like a disease that he is finally
home. Excited as I was, I rushed on his front door, eager to give him a big
‘welcome home’ hug. I bothered not that my hair is a mess or that I’m not
wearing my best dress. I knew he wouldn’t care how I look like for as long we
are finally together. He opened the door on my first knock. It was then that I
saw reality unfold. I saw his familiar face but today he is glowing like he
never did before. He was dressed not in his simple t-shirt and jeans but in a
fashionable way he used to laugh about. He is with a different set of people,
those exact people he said he’d never be friends with. Perhaps, he saw the
shock in my face. He had always been capable of interpreting my emotions, of
reading my mind. He took me to their garden now at its full bloom. He said I’d
rather go now for he is busy entertaining his visitors. That was all he said.
The words hit me like swords that I forgot how I was able to walk away from
him. Not a smile or a hug, but those harsh words welcomed me. On my way home, I
saw his Mom. She wondered why I never came to visit his son when he has been
home for three days. I am at lost for words, disrespectful as it seems, I
preferred to walk away without giving her mother a hint of my misery.
Having him around but not
realizing my presence was worse than being apart from him. I tried to call him
but he’s number is always busy. My text went unreplied. I tried visiting him
but each time I did his mother would either send me home immediately or say
that he is out touring his visitors. He ignored me in front of his visitors
like I have a contagious disease, like I’m some formless creature. Maybe he
thinks I’m a disgrace to him. I wear jeans and t-shirt unlike his social
friends who dress like models and actors. I would look like rug next to his new
found friends.
Waiting perhaps damaged my brain.
It had been slowly processing a lot of things lately. Had it been functioning
properly I would have saved myself from agony for this long. Had it been in
perfect condition I would have grasped what his actions meant that moment I
knocked on his front door. He has forsaken that special bond we used to have.
He feels nothing for me except repugnance. He has found where he belongs, and
that undoubtedly, is not with me. There is no vacant space for me there in his
new world. He and I are like tangent lines now. We will only meet at one point
in our life and never cross paths again.
I waited for his return. He did
return physically. He left but the friend I knew never came back for me. His
departure caused a rupture in my heart and life, an incurable one. The mirror
of trust and memories had been broken and the shattered glass left an
ineradicable scar in my being. Our contract of friendship had been crumpled and
tore down to pieces and what’s left now are ashes. He left me here alone but I
have no plans of dying. I am still young and I have plenty of time to look and
choose for friends who would never do the same thing he did to me. He taught me
a lesson. He opened a new door for me to venture in. But one fact still lingers
in my mind: He was my friend.
