22 Things You Don’t Know About Me
1. Counting the
stars sounds more appealing than talking to me.
2. I don’t speak when it
really matters. I’m a writer, not a speaker.
3. I’m not a
disaster waiting to happen. I’m the aftermath of an explosion, a walking mess.
My head’s a pile of unfinished prose and poetries, of numbers tossed back and
forth, of unsorted vouchers and working papers, a bucket of never ending to-do
lists.
4. I have no sense of direction. You see, I don’t even know where my life
is heading at the moment.
5. I’m made up
of contradictory parts. I’m nice and mean. I could be your best friend or your
worst enemy. I’m afraid of dogs but somehow I want to own a Siberian husky.
6. I rant a lot. I
rant about that girl who wears too short a shorts who keeps on complaining
about getting dirty stares from men, about that guy who smokes as if the air
around is his alone, of those grade school kids who seemed to know more about
love than me.
7. I have
a scar in my upper right lip when my brother accidentally cut it when I was in
grade school, but I guess you wouldn’t be close enough to see it.
8. I find comfort in
sunsets, silence in the rain.
9. I’m fine
being alone. I’m not the type to fret when I see people walking in groups as I
sit in the corner eating, enjoying a good book.
10. I don’t
like the feeling of helplessness. It’s like swimming against the current. No
matter what you do, all will be futile.
11. I wished I learned
how to swim, bike, play the violin or piano, or even dance ballet. I wish I
could turn back time and give that 8-year old me an advice, probably a list of
the things she wanted to do or become when she was a little older, of the
regrets her 22 year old self had.
12. I have an
aversion to danger. I played by the rules, lived life the safe and easy way. I
was always running in the opposite direction of change.
13. Don’t tell
me I don’t have a childhood. I have a childhood; it’s just that my memories are
on a first in first out basis.
14. I’m
guessing you won’t even get to the end of this list. You’ll get bored halfway
through, or even earlier. You’ll realize I’m not worth your damn time.
15. Ghosts
don’t terrify me. Humans do.
16. Trust is
like a balloon. It’ll take effort to make one but once you have it, be sure not
to let it go. Hold it like nothing else matters. Balloons are fragile things
you see. It could fly away the moment you loosen grip on its string or burst
for unexpected reasons.
17. I forgive
but I never seem to forget.
18. I was
probably a vampire in my past life.
19. I’ve been
in everybody else’s shoes and have forgotten where I left mine.
20. I love the
smell of books, the sound of turning pages, the thought that just around the
pages, a new world awaits you.
21.I have the
habit of making other people proud that I forgot to make myself proud.
22. Someday I
will stop trying to pretend to be okay when I’m bleeding in the inside, of
trying to decipher what’s in other people’s mind. Someday, I will stop caring
about people who doesn’t give a damn about me, of people who only scrutinizes
me as if they’re some high priest who can judge how I live my life. Someday,
I’m going to stop apologizing for things that are not my fault. Someday, I’m
going to stop apologizing for being me.
